behold, the way of the blogger

this post is written for you, oh weary cybersurfer. and for you, oh blogger of little faith. for behold, it has came upon me and i speak in tongues.

i have stranded myself from the blogosphere until i have become one with the very fabric of it's existance. look upon me and know me, for i am one with the source code. and i am your messiah.

behold, the rules that i have crafted for thee in my infinite wisdom:

thou shalt not seek to make money off thy blog - let not such impure and mundane thoughts cloud your objectivity in everything that you speak! it is truly the devil's path, and if you choose to sell thy thoughts, may the wrath of windows vista fall upon you and your loved ones.

thou shalt seek only the truth in thy blog, and seek to present it in such a way that is pleasable, witty and humorous to the average reader, so that the people can see your true nature. if thou cannot write witty and humorous remarks concerning any types of events, than thou shalt be banished from the blogosphere and no links shalt redirect towards thou!

thou shalt not fall into that, the most common of sins. thou shalt not concern thyself with thy page's rank or the number of visitors that thoust have during the course of a day. such idle things are the most disliked in the eyes of your messiah, and if thou keeps them on thy blog, i shalt cast you from my blogroll into the pits of utter oblivion, and may thy traffic rank succomb to zero in the course of one week.

behold, these are thy comandments, for thou to follow, obey and spread through the blogosphere. so it is written and so it shall be done.